She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize