I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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