I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
