Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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