I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
