i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
