I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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