I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
