If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
