Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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