and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
