They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
