People in love make me want to vomit
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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