He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
