We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
this boner is exhausting
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
