And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
