..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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