I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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