Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
