also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize