"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
