I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
