He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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