32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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