Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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