I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
