Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
