he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
