i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
