She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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