hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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