hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
