He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
