love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
