it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
