Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
