You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
