Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
