Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
