My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
