This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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