Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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