If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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