I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
