i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
