tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize