The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This is my gift to your gina
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize