So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
