i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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