she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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