bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i love accidental penises.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
