We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
