I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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