A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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