I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize