You kept calling me your small dog last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize