I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
